Tesco Value Lager: (England : Lager :2% ABV)

“kindly” donated to the tasting notes by Dave Behan, you utter bastard.

Visual: pale watery brown, initial soda stream like bubbles to a carbonated head, both fizz and head dissipate quickly.

Nose: Chemicals, rubber, maybe a hint of malt before being overpowered by gym sock and gone off meat. Tellingly even after pouring the half undrunk can down the sink the smell remains half an hour later like the fetid remnants of seagulls vomit.

Body: watery, some science lab escapees hanging at the back of the throat, after a while a mucus like taste appears but I think that results from my own gag reflex as opposed to being an element of the beer.

Finish: Won’t leave no matter how much you wish it would. Sweat and changing room haze hanging on the tongue

Conclusion: Give this to your kids if you want to have them abstain from alcohol for life. But if you do, don’t come complaining to me when the social services take them away and prosecute you for child abuse you sick fucks!