Brixton Porter

Brewdog: Brixton Porter (Scotland: Porter: 5% ABV)

Visual: Black. Large creamy brown head.

Nose: Milky coffee. Lactose. Milky chocolate. Condensed cream (I can see a theme going on here)

Body: Roasted. Slightly chalky. Nutty. Rough feel. Lactose. Some bitter coffee an chocolate. Musty dust balls. Charring.

Finish: Very rough and roasted. Charring. Bitter. Nutty. Some off flavours. Granite.

Conclusion: This, this, this actually isn’t very good. Like seriously not good at all. In fact I would go so far as to say it is, in fact, bad. The nose is all right, kind of milk stout like, but the main body is rougher than a badger’s arsehole.

(Note: I have never sampled a badger’s arsehole. This is hypothetical badger’s arseholeness)

There is charring, chalk and a rough nuttiness. Harsher edges and not much outside of that to make it worthwhile. Then the finish comes in. The finish is rougher than a badgers arsehole from a badger that suffers from razorblade anal dentata.

(Note: I have never even encountered a badger with razorblade teeth in its arse, let alone sampled one. Again, hypothetical badger)

The finish is just charring, rough nuts and bitterness. It destroys any remaining semblance of subtlety that the main body may have had. Now, to give a vague defence of this beer, there is some smooth chocolate hidden in there, but, well, I’m only bringing that up in an attempt to be fair. When compared to the musty and granite like elements it isn’t much of a saving grace.

Brewdog, please, pretty please…don’t make this part of your regular line up. It is kind of shit.

I’ve umed and ahhed and, while it may be my Brewdog bias showing, since this does have the single saving grace of the chocolate I’m not going to give it the vile putrid filth tag. For now.

The fact I had to even think about it is as much a judgement as this beer needs. It is bad.

Background The third and kind of final prototype beer of 2013 from Brewdog. I say kind of final prototype for two reasons. First, there was originally a fourth prototype which wasn’t ready in time and so will be released early 2014. Second, this was not originally intended as a prototype but instead as a beer for the opening of Brixton Brewdog Bar. As always I am not an unbiased actor on Brewdog beer.

Advertisements