Tag Archive: Aphorisms

To share a short tale told at the pub recently.

A tourist, believed to be American, overheard in a pub in Britain declaring

“You have to try this; it’s the best drink ever. It is like a mix between lager and Guinness – it’s called John Smiths”

I don’t know if I should laugh or weep.

EDIT: I’ve run into a few variants of this tale recently, which makes me wonder if it is an urban legend I fell for. I guess, like many things marked “You Can’t Make This Up”, it turns out to be..well…made up. Ah well.

You know your priorities are wrong when you see a sign saying “Licensed Sex Shop” in Soho and think “Oh good, that means they have a bar!”

As is often said, brevity is the soul of wit. Thus I must complement the bartender of Brigantes Bar at York, who, when asked for a pint of John Smiths replied


“We don’t serve that shite here”


A true beer philosopher and bar hero. If any readers are from York, please raise a glass to this man.

  • For all the years English nobles spent trying to stamp it out, Whisky is the only class war I know that can cost 50K a bottle.
  • It turns out “There is a beer for everyone in the world, and it’s just a matter of trying different ones until you get the one you like” is not accepted in court as a reason for replacing baby milk with Tokyo stout.
  • Asking in a pub for “a beer” is like asking in a brothel for a “sex act”. Both show a lack of understanding of what you like, and are far too likely to end up with foul tasting yellowed liquid running down your neck.
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