Tasting Notes: Mythos Brewing (Carlsberg): Mythos Hellenic Beer

Mythos Brewing (Carlsberg): Mythos Hellenic Beer (Greece: Pale Lager: 5% ABV)

Visual: Pale yellow. Large amount of small bubbled carbonation. Thin white head.

Nose: Mashed grain and wet rice. Mild palma violets note. Vanilla cream. Light hop character and bitterness.

Body: Vanilla. Slight brown sugar. Musty at the back. Slight palma violets and mild hop character. Rice crackers. Slight sugar dusting.

Finish: Dry rice. Some bitterness. Wet air. Moss. Vanilla. Some hop character. Rice cakes. Greenery and musty dust. Granite.

Conclusion: This is inoffensive for the most part. Kind of bland. If it wasn’t for a few rough notes at the back I’d even shrug and call it passable. Unfortunately, at the back there are some rough notes. So I can’t. Go figure.

Anyway, all this is predicated on it being a mass market lager that isn’t German, Czech or Polish. So expectations were low going in anyway. If I was expecting anything from it I may have been harsher.

So, I’ll come to the rough parts later – lets look at the rest. The base beer is fairly bland, kind of rice cakes with some vanilla and a mix of brown and white sugar dusting. Hop character is low and kind of musty. Nothing really to write home about.

Even that brings no worse than a shrug from me, I’ve had worse, but then in the late end of the beer to the finish it falls off the road. Dusty notes come up, slightly rough greenery, dry rice notes and such like. For a beer that main audience is one expecting inoffensiveness a rough, muggy, slightly rough tasting finish is a killer. It takes the beer from meh to pretty much avoid.

The thing is, even with this I can’t get up the energy to be annoyed by it. It isn’t Fosters style soda stream fizzy, it isn’t Tesco Value Lager level rank, It is just very dull and a touch badly made.

There really isn’t much to say if I can’t even be arsed to rant about it. The rougher side of dull and it gets worse as the beer goes on. So, avoid.

Background: This was a kind gift from Tony – many thanks! He was in Greece while I was in Germany and brought back a couple of local beers for me to try. Think these are my first Greek beers, so adding a bit more to my beer map! Always good. Anyway, don’t know much about this – had it chilled down on a far too warm day, while listening to Two Steps Form Hell: Archangel. I didn’t know if the beer was going to be epic, but I wanted the music to be.

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Tasting Notes: Carlsberg Sverige: Backyard Brew: Bee 17

Carlsberg Sverige: Backyard Brew: Bee 17 (Sweden: Premium Lager: 4.7% ABV)

Visual: Clear banana skin to gold. Moderate creamy bubbled head. Low carbonation.

Nose: Soft lemon. Soft hops. Coriander spice. Palma violets. Meringue.

Body: Honey touch. Some hop character. Lemon. popcorn feel. Hop oils. Slightly bready. Reasonably thick texture. Light pepper.

Finish: Light bitterness and hop oils. Slightly gritty. Lemony. Pepper.

Conclusion: Ok, let’s deactivate craft beer snobbiness. Hmmm. This beer is ok. No seriously, it’s ok. Fairly soft, lemony feel, light spice, fairly crisp. A honey touch. Now, like their previous beer, the finish is a bit of a let down. It is a bit gritty and rough, though thankfully nowhere near as bad as the Amber Lager had it. It is just a bit of a rough ending – not nice, but no so bad that it is pissing all over the rest of the beer.

The rest of the beer is fairly standard, drinkable though not special. It puts me in mind of a rougher take on This. Is Lager. – it has the same mix of soft body and light spice. If they could work out how to ditch that rough feel, especially in the finish, then I would be able to easily recommend it as a beer for chilling out and easy drinking. Hmm, wonder how long the beer is lagered for? It feels like it is relying more on the hop character than the natural lager character, so I wonder if they are cutting corners on that aspect. I could be completely off base, it just feels like it could have done with more time to smooth and round out.

As is, well it is flawed, but still does a nice job with the soft main body braced by a higher hop and hop oil character than usual, along with a bit of noble hop spice. It is actually pretty drinkable despite its sins.

I can’t say it should be a go to, but it is a pleasant lager with a bit of hops – they just need how to work out how to put a decent finish on their beers.

Background: Again, a disclaimer – knowing this is made by the big Carlsberg group I am torn between worries that I am biased as it is a macro lager, and bias because I am overcompensating for that. hopefully I hit a happy medium. This was donated for review purposes. Drunk while listening to the Super Meat Boy Soundtrack. It has been long enough since I completed that, that I no longer shudder in memory on hearing some of the tunes. That game was hard. Also, random plug. An old friend of mine has a book out, Nemesis by Bec and N.J Pearce. Available in paper back, and super cheap Kindle edition at amazon.co.uk and amazon.com Maybe give it a look please.

Tasting Notes: Carlsberg Sverige: Backyard Brew: The Lawn Mower Amber Lager

Carlsberg Sverige: Backyard Brew: The Lawn Mower Amber Lager (Sweden: Vienna Lager: 4.8% ABV)

Visual: Browned gold, moderate mounded head that leaves suds. Moderate carbonation.

Nose: Flour. Palma violets. Fluffy hops. Cake sponge.

Body: Brown sugar and golden syrup cake. Palma violets. Light bitterness. Toffee. Cardboard.

Finish: Slick remaining feel. Slight gritty hops. Honey. Some bitterness. Caramel. Greenery. Cardboard.

Conclusion: First thoughts on writing this conclusion: Huh, not bad. I have to admit I was kind of expecting the worst, despite some previous good history with Carlsberg in Denmark itself – but, while this has its rough spots – initial impressions are that it is hardly hideous.

Let’s go to the worst aspect first – the back end. The finish, which should really be a rounding off of what came before, and a refreshing smooth out is, well, a bit rough.

It’s a bit grit, a bit rough greenery, bit cardboard – and for that I pretty much can’t recommend the beer. However, with that said let us work back from that point and find as it becomes progressively more pleasant.

The body still has underlying elements that have the same weakness as the finish, but layers over that a thick yet slick sweetness that makes a good impression up front. There is a Palma violet hint in the hops that reminds me of the noble hops, and a very brown sugar and golden syrup sweetness that dominates. Surprisingly it is pretty smooth despite the heavy emphasis on the sweeter flavours.

Now let’s lead the experience back once more to the aroma. While pretty unobtrusive this is actually well done, gentle but with crisp hops that seem to call to noble hop styling with a cake sponge sweetness. While not giving much away it is far from unpleasant as an introduction to the beer.

Now, as a single beer, well, with the exception of the finish it is ok. However, I can’t see the sweet emphasis body holding up too well over more than one beer, and for something called a “Lawn Mower” beer that is a bad thing.

In fact as I reach the end of this beer it is already wearing out its welcome. the rougher finish is backing up and running roughshod over the main body. The more pleasing notes are fading away, so I am doubting it will even last the entire can.

So, I expected worse, and it is drinkable for a while – but it isn’t really worth it.

Background: Everyone is trying to be craft beer these days. “Backyard Brew” with its imagery of a beer knocked up in a small space – made by Carlsberg- ok Carlsberg Sweden, but still Carlsberg. Then again some of Carlsberg Denmark’s beers are actually quite good, the ones that never seem to leave the country, so it is worth giving this a chance. Well, I say give a chance, this was donated to me for review purposes. Many thanks. Rate beer calls this a Premium lager for style, it calls itself an Amber Lager, so I will list it as what it is trying for. For now. I am always unsure reviewing macro brewery beers. Half of me wonders if I am being harsh due to them being part of the macro scene, the other half of me worries I am going easy on them to try and avoid letting my biases affect me. Hopefully it comes out about even, you will have to decide for yourself.

Tasting Notes: Sainsbury: Basic Bitter

Sainsbury: Basic Bitter (England: Bitter: 2.1% ABV)

Visual: Golden brown, clear and highly carbonated. An inch of off white bubbles.

Nose: Cooked chicken. Light malt. Peanuts.

Body: Cardboard. Water. Sweat. Chalky and fizzy. Slight nuts. Grit. Sodasteams.

Finish: Some bitterness and hop character. Cooked rubbery chicken. Granite. Sodastream.

Conclusion: OK, now quite a few fellow bloggers and beer drinkers read this blog. Could you people do me a favour please? Whenever you find a shit beer, could you call it “a bad Behan beer” please. That man keeps giving me utterly shite beers to review and I intend to drag his name to infamy as revenge.

Thank you.

So, as you may have guessed, not a good beer. Not at all.

It starts out as merely non descript and only after time does its true craptastic nature reveal itself. How bad? Take a bitter. Ok, you have a pint of bitter? Add some water. No, more than that. More still, even more. Ok, cool. Now strain some sweat in. Done? Ok, now run it through a sodastream for TWO FUCKING YEARS!

You now have this beer.

Seriously. After about an inch you realise this thin feels like an ocean of tiny bubbles run over chalk. In its defence, quite uniquely for a bad Behan beer it actually has some bitterness and hop character in the finish.

Right, that’s enough being fair. I just have this horrid need to treat beer with respect and fair judgement. However since this feels like at least 50% water and 49% enough carbonation to make a bottle rocket out of the leaning tower of Pisa, that was not much fairness I owed it.

Flavour wise it is not as vile as other beers I have had, but the gassiness is vile to a degree similar to bloody Victoria Bitter. On a bad day.  No, really that bad. Avoid.

Background: Ok, this one can’t just be a another clone of Tesco’s value lager. For one it is a bitter. For another it is a whole 0.1% stronger. This is another “gift” from Dave Behan. A man who takes pleasure in my suffering. A  satanic Beelzebub of torment. In fact he gave me a four pack of them. Bastard. Drunk while listening to the 3^rd FLCL OST. I figured I would need something happy to take my mind off the beer. No, I wasn’t well dispositioned towards this beer even before drinking it, why do you ask? According to rate beer the beer is made by Carlsberg UK. I should have guessed.

Tasting Notes:Carlsberg: Wiibroe Imperial Stout Porter

Wiibroe Imperial Stout/ Porter (Denmark: Porter: 8.2%)

Visual: Black, thick brown head

Nose: Creamy and rich, not too thick but nice

Body: Dark treacle, very sweet immediately followed by very bitter. Bitter chocolate.

Finish: More bitter chocolate, very long roasted oats

Conclusion: Heavy and enjoyable, a tad too treacle like for repeated pints, but a great wodge of a drink for taking your time over – in taste stakes its beaten out by the black hole stout but its still an impressive runner up.

Tasting Notes: Carlsberg: Jacobsen saaz blonde

Carlsberg: Jacobsen saaz blonde (Denmark: Belgium Blond: 7.1% ABV)

Visual: no head, light gold, thin bubbles

Nose: light hops

Body: sweet lemon sherbet: golden syrup

Finish: light bitterness; short burst of orange then vanilla yoghurt, lime and hot cross buns.

Conclusion: a pleasant but not outstanding beer; light and frothy, not too heavy on the palette; worth trying and nice for a mainstream beer

Tasting Notes: Carlsberg: Tuborg Julebryg

Tuborg Julebryg (Denmark: Christmas Lager: 5.6% ABV)

Visual: Amber light and clear

Nose: Fresh and crisp

Body: Sweet, light hops, honey

Finish: caramel, a creamy frothiness, little bitterness, brown sugar

Conclusion: A much beloved beer in Denmark with local papers counting down the days to its release. Not too heavy but a varied taste and enjoyable brew and apparently people taking the day off work to go buy it. Not a distinctly Christmas ale but enjoyable nonetheless, the little bit of back-story adds greatly to the tale and enjoyment of the beer.

Tasting Notes: Carlsberg: Hvede

Carlsberg Hvede (Denmark: Hefeweizen: 5.8% ABV)

Visual: mix of light red amber gold and a light frothy head

Nose: cane sugar, light hops

Body: Apricot, sugar cane, bitter undercurrents, sour berries

Finish: hops, dark bitter cherries

Conclusion: Carlsberg have done good: this is a premium drink, sweet and rich but with a nice mix of fruit sugary sweetness and surprising slight sourness. A beer to go with ripe fruit and white meat. Well worth it

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BONUS EXTRA TASTING! Carlsberg Standard – Live From Denmark!

Visual: Light but not overly fizzy

Nose: You have to dip it so far in its wet before you notice anything

Body: Water. Though occasionally you may notice the slightest hops trying to swim its way out of this watery prison

Finish: It does yes

Conclusion: Carlsberg do also do a range of bottled water in Denmark, I presume it’s the same as this but with the artificial colouring taken out.

Tasting Notes: Carlsberg: Carls Special

Carlsberg: Carls Special (Denmark: Lager: 4.4% ABV)

Visual: Nice soft head, lovely ruby colour; clear

Nose: Light, slight hops, sour dough

Body: Smooth; dry bark, bitter hops

Finish: Bitter, rising greenery (green leaves) and outdoors air

Conclusion: Better than standard Carlsberg – though that is not hard; a reasonable hoppy lager with a touch more flavour than expected. It was enjoyed but not worth taking time to seek out, if you happen to bump into it then its worth a quick try.

Tasting Notes: Carlsberg: Carl’s ale

Carlsberg: Carl’s ale (Denmark: Amber Ale: 5.2% ABV)

Visual: nearly no froth, dark brown and clear. Many small bubbles

Nose: Sweet treacle – light sugary and fresh

Body: Thin up front, liquorice, more treacle, white bread

Finish: liquorice, burnt sugar

Conclusion: the world “ale” seems misplaced; its taste is not unwelcome when it finally comes after a weak start. This does not leap out beyond its competitors