Warning, may be a rant

So looking over at beers of europe I see the following description of Brains Black

Brains Black is an exciting new stout from Brains. This finest Welsh stout has a bitterness and a distinctive dark malt flavour that is instantly recognisable as a true reflection of this style of beer. It has already proven extremely popular in consumer taste tests appealing to both new and established stout drinkers, and combined with its distinctive and contemporary identity, Brains Black is set to become a classic stout.

Now I already knew the beer was bad, I mean I’ve drunk it, I know.  However what the hell is this monstrosity

instantly recognisable as a true reflection of this style of beer.

I didn’t realise crap was a style of beer, but there you go, and if by recognisable a stout, ya mean its black,well ya its kinda hard to go wrong on that one, if ya mean by flavour then you sure are pulling my plonker mate.

It has already proven extremely popular in consumer taste tests appealing to both new and established stout drinkers

Popular in consumer taste testing with new stout drinkers, people who have up to this point drunk fizzy piss water and John Smiths?  Shoot well that’s something you should boast about.  Popular in consumer taste tests, yep that’s how you sell me a beer, because obviously I am a complete moron unable to know what’s good without a panel of judges telling me X-factor style what I should enjoy. Wankers.

Oh and by established stout drinkers, do you mean alcoholics who were on their tenth day of withdrawal, cos that’s the only way someone who has actually ever tasted a decent stout will consider this beer worthwhile

and contemporary identity

You misspelled corporate, you vile putrid filth shillers

I feel better for that